|August 9th, 2002|
It's not the first time, and it prolly won't be the last, but I'm wondering again if I should be drinking the water I currently am drinking.
My grandmother purchased it at a store called GMC and in spite of the fact that the bottles look like bottles of Arrowhead brand drinking water, with Arrowhead labels and everything, they cost a mere seventeen cents. And also, interestingly, the water tastes quite like tap water.
Hmm. Methinks there be some "clever" entrepreneurs in the neighbourhood. Well, perhaps I oughtn't be too snide, as here I am drinking it.
I loath tap water. I really do. The tap water around here is supposed to be exceptionally well filtered, and yet to me, I have to say, the stuff tastes an awful lot like cow saliva.
I decided to-day to leave this place. Pretty soon. A few months anyway.
It seems I remember a part of me that was healthily crazy that's been suppressed for too long now . . . and I think that it's kept me from growing. I think I need to get out of this city, because this city seems to be filled with people and institutions that cannot offer me anything without adding fear to the package. Even the people I love are afraid to make the slightest commitments to me.
. . . I dunno. I feel kinna awful saying that . . .
Still, I don't feel quite like I'd be running away. In a sense, I feel like I'd be running away by staying. I think I just need to get out of the context of a lot of other people's impressions of me . . .
Yeah . . . that's it . . .
I think in our heart of hearts, everyone knows that fucking up on your own is a learning experience, and ain't so bad usually--and usually won't kill you. While fucking up while certain other people are watching . . . can present certain obstacles . . .
Gods, I feel good just thinking about leaving. Y'know? I think I made the right decision.
Current Music: Elvis Costello - Knockin' on Heaven's Door (Bob Dylan cover)
I decided last night which character in literature I would most like to be. And this decision is mostly based on this one paragraph;
"'Don't know--may be anything. But I suspect it is the sequel of the story of the statues. In that case our friend, the image-breaker, has begun operations in another quarter of London. There's coffee on the table, Watson, and I have a cab at the door.'"
And I thought, what a great way to start the day. To wake up in a cosy, Victorian flat in London where my only occupation is to follow Sherlock Holmes around (for Watson sold his practise in The Adventure of the Empty House). And to find that coffee's ready for me already, and after that, it's off to adventure as my good friend Mr. Sherlock Holmes does almost all of the real work. I mean, could life get any sweeter than that?
So yes. That's who I should like to be; Dr. John Watson.
Feeling a little sticky-eyed to-day. I think I shall go job hunting or something. I shall definitely spray at the ants a bit. That's always fun. If only the little guys were edible.
Tomorrow Trisa and I are supposed to go and see Morrissey in concert. I'm pretty well looking forward to it, especially as I've more or less decided to model my life after Morrissey, and adopt a somewhat convenient vow of celibacy (It's not because I'm a loser. It's because I have convictions. Ha).
Come to think of it, Dr. Watson seems to have been pretty chaste after his wife died . . . hm . . . Although I haven't read all the Sherlock Holmes stories yet . . . still . . . I can't imagine Watson re-marrying . . .
Current Music: Psychedelic Furs - Until She Comes
The song that I dreamt about last night just came on my Winamp--Where is My Mind by The Pixies--and it consequently just made me remember that dream! huh!!!
I had another dream last night too--
I went to Trisa's house, but she wasn't there, so I waited around for her a bit. When she showed, she informed me that she was financially set because the album she lately recorded was very pop and becoming very successful. Only she cried because she felt she kinna sold out . . .
Current Music: The Pixies - Where is My Mind
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