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August 21st, 2002 - Yew Erdri Ming — LiveJournal

About August 21st, 2002

On the verge of action or permanent inaction 01:13 pm
I really ought to get moving. I really ought to have gotten moving a few hours ago. But I . . . er, haven't.

I'm supposed to go to a car place and have my car looked at. Which is just the result of my grandmother having noticed that my air conditioner isn't working.

I suppose I do want a fully functional air conditioner, it's just . . . *sigh* . . . I hate that car dealership place. I hate going there. And I'm really not sure why.

Some places you just don't like. For no particular concrete reason, I guess.

Back when my car was kaput, after it had been hit while parked, I actually had to walk to the dealership. A walk of . . . oh, I don't know how far it was, as I have only a fuzzy idea of what units of measurement correspondent to actual distances. I passed two malls . . . maybe fifteen miles? I dunno. I do know that it was the most enjoyable trip I’ve ever taken to the place . . .

I hope I can talk Trisa into hanging out to-night. It's really starting to get to me, her disinclination to see me of late. It's been over a week now, and the most ominous thing was last night, when I asked her if she was willing to hang out.

"I'm busy," she'd said.

"Oh, whatcha up to?"

"I'm . . . busy," she'd repeated. Making it clear, I guess, that it wasn't my business. Which I suppose it's not . . .

Ah, those abrupt unexplained shut downs of relations with people. Don't we all love them. Of course, I can't complain too much as I've been guilty of it myself in the past. So I just cannot, I guess, be too justified in any fire aimed at Trisa.

In a way, it's kinna like cannibalism in emergency situations. You and a bunch of friends are trapped in a cabin by an ill-timed avalanche. It's nothing personal when one person eats another here. It's just the need to survive. The person being eaten cannot really hold a grudge with the person eating, as the victim here might as easily have been the perpetrator, if only the straws had been drawn differently. But being eaten still hurts a lot though. Actually, maybe the absence of a truly guilty entity makes it harder . . .

When you think about it, this makes the concept of two people agreeing to always be with each other and be faithful to each other, all the more extraordinary.
Current Mood: hopefulhopeful
Current Music: Tori Amos - Precious Things
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