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November 18th, 2002

About Mostly Inadvertent Offences

Party of the Mittened Beasts 04:02 am
In the great hall of the bear
Banquet things were laid about
"Eat, eat," he said
The din of the party so great he had to shout

And so each guest raised a crayon high
In a toast eloquently to their
Excellent and magnetic host
"For he is kingly vicious," pronounced Ms. Claire.

The falls of blood erupted then!
From every wall it came!
And all the toys and elephants laughed
And the cutlery did the same

"Spoon, spoon, lovely spoon," said a chandelier
It's voice thick with sarcasm
"Won't you show me your vagina?"
All knew that in a spoon there was no such chasm

So the joke went awry, and the chandelier sputtered
And ninja cats on the hills all round
Danced and laughed at the folly
Until three space shuttles came violently to ground

"Where are these things?" spake Charlton Heston
His liquorice shotgun aimed at the astronauts
For he was not one to let
Sky-things pass by without feeling a few of his shots

"Ooo!" said the spoon, "Genitals I may not have.
But unless I'm tragically mistaken,
Mister Heston holds an extra penis!
Capable of the most consummate form of penetration!"

But oh! Before good spoon's jest could be heard
There began a heavy greyish rain
Clogging up the space shuttles' workings
And all knew the men would never reach space again

One man was actually a very fat dog
And he chose now to peel off
His convincing false skin
"You all were meant to eat from a trough!"

He said, wagging a paw at each and every one of them
"So from these vessels I shall furiously craft
A truly space aged container of slop!"
And this he did very fast, inscribing at finish, "To President Taft,"

So from that day forth the rain came horizontal
So timid and reluctant it was to interrupt
The revellers at their exuberant feast
And such a fine assemblage of animals could never go corrupt

Because after the apocalypse
There was nowhere to go but up.
Current Mood: predatorypredatory
Current Music: The Little Mermaid ST - Part Of Your World
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