April 22nd, 2008

Strange Shame

The Rage

Of the images that have been released of the new Indiana Jones movie, I question the wisdom of this one the most;



I'd figure some careful consideration went behind every photo "leaked" to the public. But I'm stumped trying to deduce what the big idea was here. "Get me a picture of Shia LeBouf hitting a woman! And make sure both their faces look as stupid as possible! That's what audiences go for these days; Punch and Judy in a fun house mirror. It's gold, I tells yas, gold!"

But I'm still looking forward to the movie. It'd have to fail pretty thoroughly to lose me.

The Incredible Hulk, on the other hand, fills me with glee at the awesome amount of evidence of its mediocrity and miscalculation in every frame of its trailer. I'm a fan of the Ang Lee film, which didn't do well, and I'm pleased as hell that this newer, crappier Hulk is going to eat it even harder. And for the same reason--audiences simply don't care about a big, green, brooding guy. It's so cartoonishly obvious, you know it's only a massively cynical set of self-absorbed studio dullards who could fail to grasp it.

"The problem with the Lee picture; it was too artsy."

"Yeah, the American people don't understand prettiness and delicacy or whatever. They like tungsten and Doritos."

"If we make Hulk again, but take out all that 'quality' bullshit, then it's bound to work."

"You said it. Look at those dumb fucks down there."

"They're like ants, Joe. Ants. They'll never understand the sorrowful beauty of our Machiavellian brilliance and the terrible burden it places on our consciences."

"Ennui!"

"Oh, and also, we have to make every moment really count. You know, big."

"Yeah, like BOOM! Like that! All the--every scene, we gotta milk it 'til it lactates blood."

"You got it. You got it. Never assume an idea comes across. Ask yourself; could there be lightning in this shot? Could it be even slower motion? If he's jumping out of a helicopter, couldn't he also be kissing Liv Tylor?"

"Oh, he's got to."

"Yeah, I mean, we know it's silly, but we're supermen."

"We're so alone and beautiful."

  • Current Mood
    sore HEAD HURTS
Lermontov

The Air is Filled with Modest Proposals

A massive headache that came from nowhere (except possibly the soy corn dogs, perpetual cup of coffee, and the mysterious Japanese iced tea) made me somewhat less than useful last night for working on my project. Fortunately, I got a leg up on it to-day when I showed up early for class and wrote a bit in my notebook.

The gorgon I mentioned showed up a lot sooner than I expected. It's the first character who's going to be in the comic who's shown up in the history, which is exciting. For me, anyway. I decided she's going to be a half-gorgon, though, instead of doing some wishy-washy take on mythology that says gorgons can turn their stone-making ability on and off. I'm not sure how it'll work yet with the half-gorgon, but I don't want it to be entirely voluntary.

"But, wait!" you may now be saying. "If your gorgons turn to stone any human who looks at them, then how did the half-gorgon's parents, you know. Snake up the head?" Well, I didn't say the other half was human, now, did I?

I was somewhat disappointed that there was no class discussion to-day about The Rape of the Lock and Jonathon Swift's A Modest Proposal (the other assigned reading). Instead, the whole class went across campus to watch readings of student plays, all of which were terrible. From the play about a guy who's in a new relationship, to the one about . . . gods, I have to stop, it's too depressing. It reminded me of when I was an editor on the school literary magazine. I don't really want to get into details. But so many of these works . . . if I had one thing to say to these authors, one message I'd very earnestly hope they'd take to heart, it would be, "THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN THAT."
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    "Marionette" - Rolly