I'd never heard of Ron Jeremy until last night, when a mutual acquaintance of mine and Trisa's called Trisa while I was at Trisa's house. This girl is named Jennifer, and I used to have a big stupid crush on her. Or perhaps something even worse than that . . .
Anyway, apparently Jennifer's made out with this Ron Jeremy fellow in as decadent a fashion as one might imagine. As Trisa told me about this, I was forced to ask exactly who this "Ron Jeremy" person was, prompting an incredulous, "You've never heard of Ron Jeremy?!"
Trisa explained that Ron's claim to fame has to do with his exceptionally enormous penis. So as I was searching in vain curiosity to-day for Jen's pictures (supposedly posted under the pseudonym "Punkit". But apparently Punkit also happens to be a Finnish word for something or other, so I got over 400 Finnish sites that Jen's ass did not seem worth looking thorough for), I was consequently looking through some Ron Jeremy sites.
The man is ugly. He is disgusting looking. I mean . . . ew.
So I said to myself, "Okay, here's living, irrefutable proof that size does matter," Which is not to say that I'd ever doubted it, but I have observed a great deal of debate on the matter.
But here's the thing.
I looked at some pictures of Jeremy's Jeremy and . . . well . . . it's big . . . certainly bigger than me (that's not saying much though) . . . and yet . . . I've seen much, much bigger. On better looking guys. In fact, unless there's something wrong with the pics I saw (and why someone would tamper with that I have no idea), I'd say that Ron is really only . . . ever so slightly above average.
So I'm confused. Here we have a chunky, balding, sleazy looking bloke who looks unfit to clean Leisure Suit Larry's shoestrings, he has no exceptional physical attributes . . . so what? What does this guy have that's so special? Stamina? Or what?
If anyone has the answer, or even an educated speculation, let me know because I'm kinna curious now.