Well, fear not, friends. Because it so happens that's just the kind of hero I can be sometimes;
Also, I've discovered that Colin Meloy of the Decemberists recorded an entire album of Morrissey covers. And it's public domain now, and available as a free download at the Internet Archive. And it's pretty good, I think. I could only find one clip on YouTube of Colin performing one of these, though; here.
EDIT: Incidentally, Morrissey's first name is not Paul. It's Steven. His full name is Steven Patrick Morrissey. And now that's something else you know.