It could be some internal mechanism. I think my primary defence mechanism in youth was to just utterly stop caring about humanity entirely. Maybe that's part of it.
My tooth hurts.
I wonder what to-day shall be like? I've chosen to wear my Shirt of Despair. I call it that because I purchased it on one of the most miserable days of my life. And while each day that I wear it does not turn out to be rotten, it does serve to remind me of just how bad things can get. I guess it kinna makes me appreciate the good things.