Trompé Setsuled (setsuled) wrote,
Trompé Setsuled

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I Won't Stop Hobbits Shaving Their Feet

This new thing where people are calling vaginas "va-jay-jay" kills me. I wonder if it'd put people off their sandwiches too much if I started calling my penis "panini."

At the grocery store to-day I saw the cover of Cosmopolitan had the caption, "Untamed Va-Jay-Jay; Guess What Sexy Style is Back!" They just outright lie to their readers, don't they? When I hear guys talk about vaginas--most notably Howard Stern--it's fully shaved that's clearly in favour, at least in the U.S., and whenever a celebrity's vagina is photographed as they're getting out of a car or something, it's always shaved or even has something like one of those weird "V" designs, like the girl's a superhero or something.

Personally, I can kind of dig a full bush for the same reason I hate tattoos (though I do not have a preference)--I hate when people try to express themselves through body modification of any kind. I know this is directly contrary to the point of view of practically all my friends, but I say, don't date yourself. Unless you have gender dysphoria or a missing limb, permanent modifications usually just say to me, "I'm uncomfortable being naked, my ego needs attention at all times." Which is fair, but why broadcast it?

I'm such an asshole. I like the personalities that typically get body modifications. I sort of wish I could get on board. I'm just too into nudity. Please, I assure everyone I don't feel superior because of this. Okay, maybe a little.

To-day I saw someone walking down the street dressed as Han Solo. I'm hoping my dream of year around Comic-Con may one day be realised.

Last night I watched the Rankin/Bass adaptation of The Hobbit. I don't think I've seen it since I was a kid, when it was one of those things that was frequently on The Disney Channel in the days when kids had a lot less wiggle room on what was put on the glowing screens for their entertainment. I wasn't sure if I remember liking it or just bonding to it as part of my landscape. Last night, I found it to be a frustrating mix of really good and really bad. Visually, it's often amazing, with designs influenced beautifully by Arthur Rackham.

A lot of the voice actors were good--John Huston as Gandalf was nice, though Orson Bean as Bilbo was completely dreadful. Bean maintains a monotone of emotion throughout the film, sounding like a slightly buzzed uncle you barely know at a party, all the time, which contrasts kind of hilariously with the stupid folk music going on constantly.

The main problem, though, is simply in the fact that it's so short. All the fun of Bilbo's first meeting with the dwarves is drained, and the battle at the end, trying to be a commentary on the terror of war, is utterly ridiculous. Partly because of the rush, and partly because apparently the people doing this had no idea how to draw a huge medieval battle on a low budget. What we get is a fucking dust cloud.

I'm surprised there weren't stock pots and pans noises and people shouting, "Why you!"

I was fascinated by the presence of John Huston and Otto Preminger, director of Laura. It was like a film noir directors convention. And it was kind of cool hearing Huston, director of Treasure of Sierra Madre, laying out a scheme for the dwarves and hobbit to burgle treasure.

Twitter Sonnet #175

Rusty clouds of minds resonate madness.
Steaming skillets refuse old yellow fruit.
Miniskirt parachutes hold each harness.
Used tissue and knives are stashed in the boot.
Wet Cat glares before the great garage door.
Lines of liquorice shoes freeze strange limp steps.
Impostor concrete covers the shade floor.
A mute surgeon has here lost his forceps.
Utility cigarettes thread the nurse.
Destroyed bread reappears in a stomach.
Hard honey's stashed in a bee's stolen purse.
Alien butterflies scorch the tarmac.
Red yoghurt spills on holy styrofoam.
Rabid raven crushed cranberries at home.
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